notes from
the MUCK . . .

How does your garden grow? With muck, muck and more muck! I spent much of today finishing the final muck box and then shifting muck from one box to the next. The first box, which the Big Lad is enthusiastically pointing out, has been rotting down for two years now and once we’d removed the top quarter of unrotted material, we found we’d hit the pay dirt.

Thursday, September 29, 2005

Notes from the Beldaz

The following is a letter of encouragement from someone who should be going on this adventure with us, but isn't - our good friend Beldaz. He's the third member of the poker triumvirate pictured in one of our early entries (the one in the swish cowboy hat). Unfortunately, he has returned to his home across the pond and, like the thousands of readers who visit this page every day, he will have to experience all the excitement vicariously. However, his presence will be sorely missed. At the very least, he deserves a moment in the glorious spotlight that is NFTM, and a chance to share his wisdom, not just with us, but with all of the world as well. He did not ask for this honor...but he clearly earns it. Take it away, 'Daz:

I wanted to drop you both a line for a couple of reasons; firstly to say i hope you have a safe trip to Vegas; how are you getting there, nothing less than a convertible red dragon i expect. Maybe a blue one. Are you flying in at night?? When I went we were originally meant to fly in at night but the flight was cancelled due to bad weather (the pilot was a wuss) and we ended
up flying in in the morning which was not cool.

There are a number of things I wanted to try and impart on you before you left; I noticed on the blog that there seems to be some trepidation over aggressive betters, mostly from Jeff. I think you should leave the monikas of Matt and Jeff at home and from the time you first make contact with the hallowed earth of Vegas you are nothing but your poker identities; Parm and Robocop. It may be too late to adjust the plane tickets and hotel reservations but I think that you should go on the plane with your garb on; less parmesan for parm (see I'm getting you used to it) and for Robo (you may want to work on a more userfriendly name Matt, this is just a suggestion) your glasses should be in usual, unpoker mode (shades up) and the hat should not be worn. When you touch down, Robo, engage your glasses into poker mode, and slowly but purposefully complete the uniform by putting on your "SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIENDS" (it may help if you said "say hello to my little friends as you gaze out of the window while circling Vegas, the strip reflected in your (remember) translucent lenses, Parm does not even have to hear it; it is your war cry). Parm, as soon as that plane touches down and they welcome you to Vegas, take from your pocket a little baggy (you may not want to do this to avoid being arrested for drug smuggling and being anally probed) filled with Parmesan, and do what you do. You should think of Vegas as a cupboard, warm safe, and above all, your environment. Equate the warmness with that of the cupboard back home, outside is your
sister trying get you to say which bangle you like best, inside is where you are master, and now you have a pyramid and 50 year old women in bunnysuits serving you free beer.

Also, you need to do two things, if nothing else. 1) Ride the rollercoaster as dusk settles over Vegas; probabaly not after a trip to the shrimp buffet. You need to ride in full regalia. It lasted two minutes but it was definitely a high point in my trip. Also, when they offer to sell you the photo of you on the rollercoaster, BUY IT. You may read this and think, nah, waste of money...you may feel the same way when you come off the rollercoaster, all too eager to get back to the tables, I know I did. Years from now, you will be kept up at night about the photo you could have had of you hurtling through space at god knows what speed into the vegas dusk, your faces etched with glee, fear, and maybe nausea but instead it was deleted,
and is hurtling around cyberspace never to have a home. I know I am.

2) Ring this number; (702) 454 1110 and ask how much to fire a machine gun.

Well, it's obvious that I am working on my dissertation. Good luck, show Vegas what Cville poker is all about, and go all in for me.