Notes From the Muck endorses the following wedding guidelines:
1. Spend the extra cabbage for a live band, not a DJ.
2. Feed people early and often.
3. Don't make it an adults-only reception. Weddings just aren't interesting enough to permit adults to entertain themselves, even with all the alcohol. You need a bunch of little bastards running around dancing and breaking shit and generally misbehaving. It really keeps things moving along.
4. For the love of God, skip the garter belt thing. T-A-C-K-Y. You may as well just be throwing her panties to a crowd of men, which, come to think of it, might be a lot more fun.
5. If there is a room available, have a poker game. This also applies to bar mitzvahs and funerals.