notes from
the MUCK . . .

How does your garden grow? With muck, muck and more muck! I spent much of today finishing the final muck box and then shifting muck from one box to the next. The first box, which the Big Lad is enthusiastically pointing out, has been rotting down for two years now and once we’d removed the top quarter of unrotted material, we found we’d hit the pay dirt.

Monday, November 21, 2005

Top 10 Hated Movies

Well, Jeff will not like this post, but there seems to be a hot new internet game that everybody is playing. Name the top 10 movies you hate, which is emphatically not the same thing as the Top 10 worst movies you've seen. What 10 movies have evoked the strongest negative reaction in you, whether or not they have artistic merit or are even objectively "good?" I'll give it a go:

10. The Incredibles - This movie so did not live up to the hype. I admit, though, that part of my hating it so much likely had to do with the circumstances in which I saw it: at a shithole theater, doing juror interviews in Williamsburg with Jenny, who is usually such a pleasure to be with but on this occasion wouldn't stop yawning and saying she wanted to leave.
9. Outbreak - All I really remember is the horrifically bad dialogue in this stinker. Like this (paraphrasing, but not far off) Dustin Hoffman: This virus is so simple and yet so deadly. Cuba Gooding, Jr: What do you want to do, marry it? Dustin Hoffman: No. Cuba Gooding, Jr: What then? Dustin Hoffman: Kill it.
8. Se7en - I didn't like this movie at all, but I can't say I really hated it until a bunch of people started telling me how great it was and getting on me for not liking it. Now I hate it on principle.
7. Vertigo - Those endless fucking scenes of Jimmy Stewart driving, just fucking driving his fucking car. Good God, GET TO THE POINT!
6. The Secret of My Succe$s - Michael J. Fox. I don't really understand why I loathe this movie as much as I do, but in my mind it has come to epitomize everything I hate about the 80s and about formulaic bullshit.
5. The Sum of All Fears - Another juror interview special. I was willing to suspend disbelief until Ben Affleck's girlfriend survived that nuclear blast with just a few scratches on her face to show for it.
4. Natural Born Killers - Oliver Stone makes a violence-porn flick as some sort of statement against violence-porn movies, but ends up just indulging in the same crap he's trying to make a statement about. Lame.
3. Nixon - Oliver Stone again. That scene where the blood comes pouring out of Tricky Dick's steak? Subtle, Ollie. Real subtle.
2. In the Bedroom - Holy shit. In the fucking Bedroom. What a goddamned monstrosity. You have no idea how angry I am that I saw this piece of fucking shit movie. Everybody says the acting was good, and all I can say in response is: Who cares?

And My Number One Most Hated Movie Of All Time:

1. Reservoir Dogs - This may be a controversial choice; it's my sister's favorite movie. Hated It! I don't mind gore or violence in my movies, but stylized violence for the sake of stylized violence? I call bullshit. Fuck this movie.