notes from
the MUCK . . .

How does your garden grow? With muck, muck and more muck! I spent much of today finishing the final muck box and then shifting muck from one box to the next. The first box, which the Big Lad is enthusiastically pointing out, has been rotting down for two years now and once we’d removed the top quarter of unrotted material, we found we’d hit the pay dirt.

Monday, February 27, 2006

Clench, for the love of God CLENCH!!

Here lies (insert your name),
Age: (insert your age)
Who died on: (insert some date here)
Tragically taken from us whilst holidaying (insert appropiate travel destination).
A free spirit, they decided to jump into the (insert name of body of water) naked.
Fate having always blessed this sweet dear soul,
they missed the sharks, alligators and piranhas lurking beneath the waves.
They also missed the various spikes, girders, ridtides and currents.
Mercifully the water was deep enough to break their fall.
Sadly however, (insert your name) forgot to clench their buttocks,
and water rushed up inside causing severe internal damage.
Upon surfacing, (insert your name) became aware of the nature of their injuries,
and, always the proud one, died of shame.

RIP.

Glancing over the Worst Case Scenario Survival Handbook, I found out that one should clench their buttocks lest they suffer the fate described above. Now you've been warned, I don't expect to see any ONE of you suffering such injuries...

Don't say we don't look out for you....

NFTM.