notes from
the MUCK . . .

How does your garden grow? With muck, muck and more muck! I spent much of today finishing the final muck box and then shifting muck from one box to the next. The first box, which the Big Lad is enthusiastically pointing out, has been rotting down for two years now and once we’d removed the top quarter of unrotted material, we found we’d hit the pay dirt.

Monday, March 27, 2006

Jeff Reynolds, Professional Weenie

What follows is an email exchange between me, a seller on ebay, and PayPal. Long story short: I accidentally left the third disc of Arrested Development Season 2 in a DVD player that I exchanged at Best Buy. I purchased a replacement on ebay, but when I opened it last night I realized that I had been sent a pirated copy and not the official release as advertised.

All of these emails occurred over the span of about twenty minutes. Names have not been change to protect the innocent.

There are no innocent parties here...

Here's the original email from me to the seller:
Dear Seller,

I recently received my item. It is not the item I paid for, however. What you sent is a COPY of the original. Please refund my money immediately. After you do so I will gladly return the product. Otherwise I will be forced to file a complaint with ebay.
Actually, I had already filed a complaint.

The response...
Hello, Thank you for contacting me regarding this. As I said in my first email, I will do all that I can to make sure you are happy with my service.

If I Issue a Full Refund of $16.57 to your account. And allow you to keep the DVD, as I do not wish to inconvenience you any more than you have already been Would this seem fair and resolve the situation for you?

I almost always sell preowned merchandise, and sometimes items not to Acceptable Standards are shipped out. I am always here to help in this event, and take full responsibility.
Please let me know :)
Thank you

Suspiciously friendly. Could it be this person has something to hide?
The email from PayPal:
Dear Jeff Reynolds,

Thank you for contacting PayPal. We have begun our investigation of the
following transaction:

Transaction Date: Mar 10, 2006
Transaction Amount: -$20.56 USD...
I guess they sent that to the seller, as well...
Hello Jeff, Appearantly you have already filed a claim with paypal. If the DVD is in such terrible condition then why waste your money and time returning it?
It's on now.
Fine. I'll cancel the complaint if you just refund my money. I'm sure you are aware of how misleading you have been. Furthermore, what you have done is illegal. And since you shipped it across state lines, my attorney believes it is a federal offense.

When I say "attorney," I really mean my girlfriend. She is in law school, though.
I am not asking you to cancel the claim, that is done automatically once I process the refund. I believe the fact that you have an attorney involved as you gave me a whole 5 minutes to resolve the situation like an adult.
So does will your purchase price of $16.57 resolve the situation or should I pay your attorney fees court costs, pain and suffering and etc
Yes. Yes you should.
i had already spoken to my attorney about it prior to contacting you, but i do appreciate the sarcasm.

mock me if you want, but i'm just a guy who wanted to buy some DVDs. i realize that many people do not care whether they got the original or a copy, but i could have just spent $15 more and bought a new edition at the store.

i will keep the DVDs you sent, so I don't have to pay the shipping twice, and if you refund the $16.57 that will resolve the situation as far as I'm concerned.

A word of warning, though: the MPAA has already sued a few people for selling pirated copies of movies on ebay. I would knock this off immediately if I were you.
Yeah, you heard me, pal, "knock it off." Sensing there must be more of my wrath where that came from, the seller backs off:
Hi Jeff, I apologize if I was rude. I just really wish you would have just given me a hint of a chance to resolve this like an adult.
Thanks again

Little does he/she know that I don't handle anything like an adult.
Dear Jeff Reynolds,

The seller has offered a partial refund in the amount of $16.57 USD.

Please log in to the Resolution Center and accept or deny this offer within
10 calendar days.

Offer accepted. Boo ya ka sha.