notes from
the MUCK . . .

How does your garden grow? With muck, muck and more muck! I spent much of today finishing the final muck box and then shifting muck from one box to the next. The first box, which the Big Lad is enthusiastically pointing out, has been rotting down for two years now and once we’d removed the top quarter of unrotted material, we found we’d hit the pay dirt.

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Katy the Winner

So, it took all of 30 or so minutes to guess my dastardly puzzler, but Katy somehow won through and guessed the quote as coming from the movie Jurassic Park. As promised, here is your commemorative post; I wanted to put a sketch of a guy doing some kick ass break dancing but I don't know how to. Then I thought I would try and create a South Park doppelganger (how do i put the umlout thingys on??), but realised that 1) having never met you I don't know what you look like, and 2) that I wouldn't be able to put the picture up as I am pretty crap with the old html computer stuff.

So Katy, you get to be the star in one of the funniest jokes I've heard in months. No tilda: Lap it up Katy, and everyone else, don't let her run away with this.

Once upon a time, there lived a girl called Katy. Katy wasn't your average girl; she was inflatable. She lived in an inflatable house, in an inflatable street, in an inflatable town. She went to an inflatable school, where she was taught by inflatable teachers, along with hundreds of other inflatable pupils. Everything was inflatable, the tables, the chairs, the food, the chalk, the trees, the cars, the hamsters, the grass, even the various bodily fluids were inflatable.

It certainly was a funny town!!

One morning, Katy awoke having had a strange dream. Before, she had always dreamed of inflatable things; if she could fly, it was with inflatable wings. If she was a giant, her feet walked upon inflatable gravel, and her head still pierced through inflatable clouds. If she was a cookie, the chips were, that's right you guessed it, inflatable. She could not dream of anything that wasn't inflatable.

Until now.

When she awoke, she remembered her dream seeing something she had not seen before. You or I would not have remembered what she saw, or paid it any attention during the dream. It was piece of string laying on her floor. The string was remarkable because it wasn't inflatable. Stunned, Katy had picked up the string, and followed it out of her room, out of her house, over her garden wall, and into the field outside her house. The string led into the woods beyond that no-one in her town had ever gone beyond, she desperately wanted to follow but was scared. Katy was amazed in the morning, and almost forgot to eat her inflatable toast in the morning before the bus came and took her to school.

Katy couldn't concentrate at school at all, it was like something was nagging at her, biting away at her side. Then she realised that there was something poking her side, a non inflatable pin in her pocket!

Katy did not need to be given anymore encouragement, she knew what she had to do...Instantly, she lept up, pin in hand, and made for the door. Her teacher, one step ahead, stood in the doorway. Without missing a beat, Katy popped her teacher with the pin, and
ran on through the halls to the exit and freedom.

Something was standing in the way though.

Her headmaster loomed above her, hands on hips, a frown etched upon his face. "Just WHERE do you think you're going Katy???" he bellowed. Katy didn't bother answering, she slid between his legs, popping him as she went. She heard the farting noise of the old man fill the air, and once or twice he sped into her line of vision as he was propelled around the playground by his own air...Katy could not shed a tear, she just needed to run, run to the one place that had filled her mind since that morning.

The woods.

On she sped through the town before she got to her house. She galloped through the house into the garden, vaulted the wall, and prepared to plunge into the wild woods where her destiny awaited.

Then she saw them , the inflatable police closing in on her from all sides...soon she was surrounded, the woods and her dreams eclipsed by the blue uniforms of angry police officers all closing in on her. Desperate, she did the only thing she could; took the pin, and popped herself. Before it went blank, she remembered seeing the woods from above as the air gushed out of her body. She caught a glimpse of the woods, and beyond what appeared to be a bright shining light...then nothing.

She awoke in pain. She was in a hospital, and she had been re-inflated. She could see the plaster plugging the hole made by the pin. The curtains were whisked open, and beside her lay her headmaster, slightly crumpled, but sitting upright. He looked at Katy, and shook his head quietly whilst closing his eyes...

"I'm not angry" he said, "just disapointed. I mean, you've let your teacher down, you've let me down, you've let the whole school down, but most of all Katy, most of all"...he winced as if it pained him to speak the words...

"You've let youself down".

Jesus, said Katy, reaching for the pin.

Remember kids, win the comp, and this honour could be bestowed upon YOU!!!!

Katy's teacher and headmaster happily made a full recovery. Physically.