Seeing as I'm English, live in England and have done all my life, it's up to me to try and given things a bit of a British spin. For a while, I've been mulling over the idea of publishing an epic poem illustrating the pain of having to repeat the order or "water" 20 times at various resteraunts, ice cream vans, grocery stores, house/dinner parties. Seriously, what is it with the way we say water? It's not like they haven't just asked me what I want to drink or anything and...but wait, I digress...it's my Beuwolf and I'll unleash it on the world when I'm good and ready.
I do have news england style though, and it's about time I mentioned Bill Shakespeare here, I think it was in my contract. Just as I was going to turn in and nurse my poor tummy, a scurry of activity drew my attention to the laptop and there lay the answer to the mystery that's been haunting EVERY english person since the 17th century. The little puzzle was actually responsible for us dropping the ball on the whole American War of Independence thing...were it not for that, you'd all have muffins, PROPER muffins, and the whole water thing wouldn't be a problem...
Yes peeps, we finally have the TRUE image of Shakespeare
. Maybe. Here 's (below left) what I was brought up to believe was the face of the
Bard whose sonnets every school child the length and breadth of the country recites from memory every morning before they attend their bowler hat doffing class.
And here (to the right and below) is what he actually looked like. We think. Hmmmm, not THAT much of a difference really is there? An ear ring, slightly stoned look perhaps but noting to
write home about...
Well, the dude definitely doesn't look anything like this, but hey, that's Holly wood anywho.
Maybe we should just be thankful he didn't look like this; a rose by any other name may still smell as sweet, but for Christ's sake, look at the size of his head! You could use it as a bread board I tell you.
Well, I've wasted enough space here, but before I go for the first nights peaceful sleep now this connundrum has been put to bed, I think that the answer was staring us in the face Stateside...
"Worst iambic pentameter EVER"