notes from
the MUCK . . .

How does your garden grow? With muck, muck and more muck! I spent much of today finishing the final muck box and then shifting muck from one box to the next. The first box, which the Big Lad is enthusiastically pointing out, has been rotting down for two years now and once we’d removed the top quarter of unrotted material, we found we’d hit the pay dirt.

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

All the News That's Fit to Print

With all that's going on in the world today, it's good to see that our national news media is on top of things. First there was the New York Times last week, interviewing 50 people and providing a lengthy front-page analysis of the state of Bill and Hillary Clinton's marriage. The conclusion? The Clintons spend an average of 14 days per month together. What this information has to do with anything, I can't begin to guess.

Meanwhile, CNN yesterday was running a restrospective on the one year anniversary of the Natalee Holloway's disappearance in Aruba. Again, why this was a national story in the first place is beyond me.

Determined not to be outdone by the Times' panty-sniffing and CNN's obsession with missing white women, the Washington Post today proves that its vacuity is second to nobody's by devoting some two thousand words to the subject of wingmen. "You know the wingman," The Post tells us. "He's the guy who accompanies his buddy to a bar to help him pick up babes. He does whatever it takes to give his friend some time alone with the girl of choice: telling flattering lies about him, enticing away the sidekick girlfriend, running interference at the approach of a rival male." From there, we're treated to a series of interviews with apparently retarded GW students, who seem to have watched one too many beer commercials. Some choice bits:
Occasionally, both guys will walk over to the target at the same time. More frequently, the wingman makes the first flyby. Say the target has arrived with another young woman who, like Pouty Girl, would not win any beauty contests. "The wingman talks to that girl," Waclawiczek says, "and the girl that your friend is after is like, 'Oh, what's going on? Why isn't he talking to me?' That's when your friend moves in."
Like, WTF?
Duties of the wingman: He must be decent-looking but not too handsome, or the lead man will end up being the wingman. He must be sociable, able to move the conversation forward or back off, depending on how the lead is doing. It helps if he can gather intelligence on the girl early in the evening, sense whether his buddy has a chance and impart that wisdom privately before the offensive starts.
Offensive indeed.

Honestly, reading this article, I didn't know whether to despair for these motards who apparently need the assistance of a posse to get laid (in college of all places!) or for our media, which seems to be slipping farther and farther into inanity with each passing day.

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