notes from
the MUCK . . .

How does your garden grow? With muck, muck and more muck! I spent much of today finishing the final muck box and then shifting muck from one box to the next. The first box, which the Big Lad is enthusiastically pointing out, has been rotting down for two years now and once we’d removed the top quarter of unrotted material, we found we’d hit the pay dirt.

Thursday, May 04, 2006

Cyborg of the Future

When I first developed a social life, I was well into my late teens and not very comfortable around others. I think my stiff mannerisms and speech patterns must have reflected that fact, because I was once lovingly dubbed "Jeff Reynolds, Cyborg of the Future" by my friends. For a brief while, there was even a mythos created around that moniker: the Cyborg of the Future was destined to compete for world dominance with the diabolical "Robert, Inc," another friend who is now studying at Georgia Tech. If I recall, I think Robert was supposed to win the epic battle and achieve global control. Now, no one even remembers that the Cyborg of the Future was once a powerful force to be reckoned with. People still talk about that damn Robert, Inc, though.

And that's just how I want it. Their prognostications were wrong, you see. As the preeminent Cyborg of the Future, my plan is much more devious than any have imagined. I will indeed allow Robert Inc. to "defeat" me in battle, and after doing so he will proceed with his plan to take over the globe with ruthless bottom line precision. Entire nations will be transformed into dedicated labor camps, and Robert will become the CEO of the world.

While he's steadily increasing his powers and perfecting eugenics, he will fail to realize that his nemesis was, in fact, never defeated at all. I will rise from the depths of the sea, or something like that, and immediately begin to secretly assemble my Androidal Army in a remote arctic location which no mortal can inhabit. One by one, I will build near perfect human replicas - robots that I will over time switch out with their counterparts in Robert,Inc's elite Board of Directors. And when the entire Board is under my command, we will stage the final coup and seize planet Earth right out from under Robert's thumb.

Don't believe me?

Why, construction has already begun.


MWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa....

Sincerely,

Cyborg of the Future






PS - Matthew better post something soon...things are clearly getting desperate.