VERY fat. A new study
by Boston boffins has found that children whose parents are strict disciplinarians are way more likely to be fat by the age of 6. Not a great way to pack a kid off to school. Apparently kids may eat more because of the stress.
Just imagine that, you waddle up to front of the class to tell everyone your name, where you come from, your favourite animal, awkwardly pulling your jumper over your pretruding belly that just wants to be loved, and then someone asks what your Dad does. You retreat to your safe space, launching a 30 minute tirade on the evils of the United Nations that you don't understand but makes you feel like you're floating.
Joseph "Ratzinger" sheds a tear as he remembers the ball of blubber that once looked back at him from the mirror..."Thank you Dr Atkins, thank you" he sobs gently into his robes.