notes from
the MUCK . . .

How does your garden grow? With muck, muck and more muck! I spent much of today finishing the final muck box and then shifting muck from one box to the next. The first box, which the Big Lad is enthusiastically pointing out, has been rotting down for two years now and once we’d removed the top quarter of unrotted material, we found we’d hit the pay dirt.

Thursday, July 20, 2006

If I Were A Comic Book Character

I might look like this:

Origin and Back Story:
Jeff Reynolds was born without the ability to detect color. This unfortunate deformity made life difficult for young Jeffrey, who was forced to rely on his mother to purchase and match his wardrobes well into high school. His unfashionable attire, combined with his existing insecurities about his handicap, led to an adolescence wrought with loneliness, mockery, and despair.

In college, he was further isolated for studying the worthless field of Comparative Literature. Girls shunned Jeff, and his male classmates taunted him with pictures of colored dots, which formed the outline of images he would never see.

Jeff turned to the one place he would not be judged - the video store. He began renting every movie he could get his hands on. Mostly, he preferred the black and white classics. He loved feeling like, for once, he was not alone in his colorless universe. He even stopped going to class so he could immerse himself fully in his new passion.

Unfortunately, he spent so much of his loan money on rentals that he found himself broke and unable to continue his escape into his beloved films. After seeing an ad in the local paper, he signed up as a test subject for an experiment being conducted by the science department of the university. Fittingly, the brilliant student running the experiment was testing a new technology that might allow persons with color-blindness to see the world in full color.

In the lab, the complex machine attached to Jeff's body did, in fact, allow him to see colors for the first time in his life; but there was a terrible accident. The machine overheated and exploded while still connected to Jeff's neurological system. The student lived, but was confined to a wheelchair. Jeff also survived the disaster, but was left profoundly changed.

Now, even without the revolutionary technology, Jeff could see color. But that wasn't all. He could also see the entire electromagnetic spectrum, from gamma rays to radio waves. Because the chaos of electromagnetism was too much to deal with, Jeff asked the student to develop a filter for him so he could mentally adjust the spectrum at will.

In addition, Jeff was able to emit harmful blasts of radiation from his fingertips. He quickly developed cancer in his hands, which had to be replaced with bionic substitutes. The unusual power, however, remained.

They say that with great power comes great responsibility. Unfortunately, having been babied so long by his mother, Jeff was the least responsible person in the city. He promptly began to abuse his powers to satisfy his every selfish whim. These included, among other things, turning his former tormentors into giant tumors, and peering through the underwear of every woman he encountered. He also had his friend build him a jetpack, because "that shit would be tight."

Jeff Reynolds, the introverted, bugle-boy wearing mamma's boy, was no more. Citizen Pain, on the other hand, had just been born. Pain began to terrorize the city with the same enthusiasm he once brought to watching movies. To make matters worse, after each sinister act he spouted an appropriate line of dialogue from a classic movie:
Citizen Pain: Say hello to my little friend!
Woman: "Little" is right, pal.

He captured all of his antics on his custom designed EvilCam - now HE was the director. Always the auteur, Citizen Pain brought his signature vision to his films by blasting away any trace of color that existed in the city. Its millions of inhabitants now lived in daily fear of the mad filmmaker, cowering in the shadows of their drab, gray-scale metropolis of doom.

Citizen Pain continued his uninhibited campaign of crime and harassment for months. Uninhibited, that is, until a mysterious, masked hero appeared one day to reclaim peace and justice for the people, a hero known only as...

Technicolor Girl.

Create your own comic book alter-ego here.