There's a question posed by Raphael in a time-killing Trivial Pursuit game out on the farm in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
"What Russian novel embraces more than 500 characters and is set in the Napoleotic wars?"
Donatello got it right - did you? The answer is War and Peace
Well, it just so happens that Matthew and I have a date to start reading the greatest novel of all time on September 11 (Patriot Day.) Just to take some of the pressure off, our only goal is to finish it by my birthday (March 14th.) For the time in between, the plan is to inform everyone we meet that we are, in fact, reading War and Peace
and that, yes, it IS, like, really long.
This got me thinking. Since the time investment is so substantial, and the accomplishment of finishing it so very great and impressive, we would be doing ourselves a major disservice if we didn't carry the book around with us at all times for the remainder of our lives...or would we? Along those lines, I have posed a rather provocative question to Matthew regarding the interminable toting of said tome...and now it's time to pose it to you.
How much would someone have to pay you to cart around a little red wagon with a copy of War and Peace
in it for the rest of your life
? You can never be more than 10 feet away from your wagon (and you have to be buried with it) but someone will pay you a large sum of money for the pleasure of watching you do it. The catch is if you slip up, you have to pay it all back (and any money you've aquired through investments) with interest.
Now, think long and hard about the reality of this before you answer. My knee jerk response was that I would definitely do it for 5 big ones, but Matt said he wouldn't do it for any amount of money. After discussing it in further detail, I eventually came around to his side. Imagine the torture of being married to this little red wagon with a copy of War and Peace
inside it for the rest of your life. No matter how rich you are, you may just find yourself hoping that life ends as soon as possible. You certainly come to hate War and Peace,
and wagons, and maybe even the color red.
price? Remember, one strike and you're out.
PS - Here's some more details - There's a sophisticated monitoring system attached to the wagon and the book, which is also linked to your bank accounts and designed to drain them immediately upon alarm, so cheating is out of the question. You can, however, hire a person or persons to do the actual carting around for you. If you do fail, you will be tortured like no man has ever been tortured before, once a week until you pay the money all back. Also, you can't put anything else in the wagon. Just War and Peace