It's official - I've run out of things to do on the internet. Pitchfork is pretentious, Ain't it Cool is no longer very cool, and the Superficial is, well, superficial. Niki is pretty much the only one who emails me, and she's usually asleep when I'm at work, so even idle e-com (I just made up that word, and I'm pretty sure I hate it) is no longer an option.
The obvious solution is a return to the basics, to the reason the internet became popular in the first place: pornography. However, since I'm only online at work these days, that's not really much of an option.
Sure I could blog, but I think my recent history on the Muck has proven that I just don't have anything to say.
And so, dear reader(s?), I'm signing off for awhile. I will be back, but it's time for me to explore the real world for a change. Clearly, the internet isn't to blame. Boredom lies within, they say, and I'm as dull as ditchwater in there. Even in conversation I find myself dozing as soon as I open my mouth. The glazed look in the eyes of my listeners moves me to empathy, rather than anger: I know, man, I know - I'm suffering, too. Even the most interesting thoughts swimming in my head these days aren't fit for public discourse. Granted I was drunk, and therefore prone to rambling, but I got cut off last night by some friends after I had beaten a particularly dead horse beyond the limits of their patience. Worst thing was, one of those friends was Will. Will! This is the guy who can repeat the same point about Rambo for three hours, with blatant disregard for the interest or sanity of his audience, and then, a month later, assault the same people with the same exact speech for another three hours as if the thought had just occurred to him that morning (er...no offense or anything). And he shut me
down?! I'm obviously way out of line.
But I digress. The point is, I've sunk deeper and deeper into a state of ennui
over the past year, and I'm ready to pull myself back out. My only hope is that by abandoning some of my current time-wasting habits (surfing the web) and replacing them with more stimulating activities (taking pictures and reading and shit), I can shed some of my jaded cynicism, revitalize my spirits, and once again learn to appreciate the finer things in daily life...like celebrity bikini pics:
So, goodbye for now. Matt and Ben are the real reasons you visit this site anyway, and they'll be around for all your toenail/wrestling needs during my absence.
Also, I'm leaving my job and moving to Georgia this weekend. Good night, and good luck.