A couple of days I woke up to the news that a man had chopped off his penis in a busy London restaurant
. One thought flashed through my mind, "post it". It would have been easy to do, a nice little quip about improvising a tip, or introducing a new alternative to the traditional star rating system of eateries and I could barely contain myself when thoughts turned to the photo/caption possibilities presented.
The day wore on however and more news filtered through. A planet has been discovered, big whoop, but this is no ordinary planet, for it seems to have the right conditions (warmth, possibility of water) to support life.
Yes, life on another planet; I feel that the the concept of us being totally alone in this universe is narrow minded and naive, but to perhaps be on the verge of discovering another civilisation is mind boggling to me. I don't know if we'd be able to take it, frankly, I was blown away when I saw an Okapi in the zoo, it looked like something from outer space. The gravity on this planet is stronger, so apparently the bones of any creatures would have to be heavier and bigger, their year is over in 13 days as it is very close to the sun (it doesn't explode or anything because the star is a red dwarf so is cooler) so they'd be hundreds of years old, and guess what? It's only 20 light years away. This news has also alerted me to the fact that I need to patent my time travel idea; as I think it sounds like they'll be needing it:
By 2020, it should be possible for a telescope to take a close look at the planet, which has not yet been named, to see if there is any sign of life.
Pondering on this news I resolved that my posts would forever shy away from the man chopping his penis off, the open goal, the slam dunk, the easy post. From now on it's substance or nothing, who will get to peer through the telescope first, what do we do if we see someone with two heads with genitalia where their arm pits should be and vice versa
? Would there be an immediate expedition to meet our new found cosmos neighbours? Should the planet be afforded rights so as not to be colonised or enslaved by our leaders? What do we name it?
My feeling is that is more than light years keeping us from our first encounter. Down here on Earth we really aren't doing a stand up job at all. The U.S. will soon make history by trying an alleged child war criminal
was taken into custody in Afghanistan
5 years ago when he was 15. His defence team say he was 10 when the crimes he is accused of took place. A ten year old. If my mind boggled at coming face to face with E.T. when I'm 50, it positively exploded at the thought that not only are child combatants a sadly all to common occurence across the globe, but that they are also dealt with in such a manner by people who probabaly have grandkids older than he was. I'm not shocked, but I do think that before we even begin contemplating initiating contact with a life form from another solar system, we need to work out a way of treating people better here.
All these thoughts ran through my mind, the sky above me seemed to shrink and engulf me at the same time, I marvelled at the thought that all this muck around us is only one world, one possibility, I despaired at the possibility that this muck may be about to extend its reach and plant its horrifying flag on a world we don't yet know and that this new world may contain more muck we could only imagine.
Then I read this on The Guardian's
LATEST: Actor Hugh Grant arrested over allegedly assaulting a photographer with baked beans. More details soon...
And all was right with the world. God bless you you foppish, public school, charmingly befuddled one trick pony. (I believe it caught the eye of another discerning blogger
Labels: muck, priorities, wallow